


So a Rebel and a Yankee walk into a Librarian

by GiveMeTheStrapOn



Category: Historical RPF
Genre: BDSM, Cunnilingus, F/M, Historical Accuracy, M/M, Other, Threesome, Verbal Humiliation, Ya know. To an extent., m/m/f
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiveMeTheStrapOn/pseuds/GiveMeTheStrapOn
Summary: Librarian and American Civil War historian Harriet Taylor is somehow, suddenly and without warning, transported back in time to the Appomattox Courthouse on April 9, 1865. There, she finds her two favorite-to-study historical figures, General Ulysses S. Grant and General Robert E. Lee, in the middle of something a little less formal than a declaration of surrender.They then have a threesome.Prompt:"So, I'd like something about a female librarian who loves history. They go back in time and have a three way with Robert E Lee and Ulysses S Grant. Thanks!"
Relationships: Ulysses S. Grant/Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant/Robert E. Lee/Harriet Taylor (OC)
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a commission piece I did from a reddit post about absurd pairings and ridiculous erotica between whomsoever the commissioner chooses! If you're interested in commissioning a piece, whether similar to this one or different, hit me up either on twitter (@StrapInBoys) or reddit (u/GiveMeTheStrapOn).
> 
> I hope you like this absurd story!

Finding yourself suddenly transported to the historical era you love to study may not be realistic, but somehow that’s exactly what has happened to librarian Harriet Taylor. Without warning or alarm, Harriet somehow found herself at Appomattox Court House on April 9th, 1865. She didn’t know HOW she knew what the exact date and location was, but heading towards the building’s entrance, she did know that all her little nerdy dreams would soon be coming true. But, of course, the best things in life are not what is already known, but the pleasant surprises we discover behind soon to be opened doors...

General Robert E. Lee had wanted to look his best for what he knew would be an historic meeting. He wore his best dress blues for the occasion, fiddling with his buttons and a loose thread on his sleeve every few minutes in anticipation of General Ulysses S. Grant’s arrival. Though Grant was the enemy general, there would always be a small part of Lee that remembered the time they had served together in the Mexican-American War. Huddled together for warmth on those cold desert nights, they desperately clung to each other’s firm bodies to find what little heat they could. Hushed whispers were exchanged while they allowed their hands to roam about the body of the other… 

_No. Keep it together,_ _Robert. You need to be on your A-game_. Lee shook his head to stop himself from daydreaming, only to look up and realize Grant had walked into the room. Ulysses… No. Hiram.

Grant strode into the room with the swagger of a man who knew he had won, but wasn’t going to mention it until you did. He was covered in dirt from the battlefield, making him look not grungy, but rugged. Not sloppy, but tough. He leveled Lee with a look, eyes sparkling with recognition and victory. 

“Hello, General Lee. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Grant strode over to amicably, but firmly, shake Lee’s hand, as though they hadn't been opposing generals in a war vicious enough to pit brother against brother. Lee felt his stomach do a backflip, sense-memory forcing him to recount just how firm, yet gentle, those very hands could be. He purposefully straightened his posture, attempting to reign in some semblance of personal control. At the continued twinkle in Grant’s eyes, Lee wondered if the man in question had noticed the movement. They dropped hands. 

Lee was already regretting the loss. _Get a grip, man!_ He thought to himself. _What would President Davis think??_

“So, General Lee. You ready to sign this surrender?” Oh yes. That’s why they were here today. Not to bring up old flames but put an end to a bloody war. Lee straightened his posture, attempting to look dignified and resolute. 

“Yes, General Grant. Let us commence with what is undoubtedly an historical moment in the life of these countries.”

“Country. Singular.” Quipped Grant, already signing his portions of the papers with a small smile on his face. 

_Ugh. Please don’t remind me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 19th century fun begins.

A short while later, after all the papers had been looked at, negotiated over, and signed, Generals Lee and Grant found themselves to be alone. The few officials they had brought with them to the surrender signing had been sent out, tasked with telling the country the news that the war had finally ended. There was a confederate flag to the right of the signing desk, no longer a banner of patriotism to Lee, but a symbol mocking the past 4 years' hardships.

Lee turned to face Grant with a sigh, all previous thoughts of reconnection having been dissolved ages ago. 

“Well, Grant, you have been gracious with your end of the deal, and for that-”

Lee had finally made eye contact with Grant, and the mischievous spark he saw there stopped his concession speech short. Maybe the thoughts of reconnection hadn’t been quite as dissolved as he’d thought.

“Lee,” Grant started, that look in his eyes only getting more pronounced, “I think maybe there’s another way we could, say, _consummate_ this surrender. Something less formal. Something special, just between the two of us.” He’d been slowly walking towards the confederate, and was now less than a foot away. He could feel Lee’s breath ghost across his face as its pace picked up in this close proximity. “Well, what do you think, Robert?”

At the use of his first name, Lee finally relented to his baser desires, lunging forward to take Grant’s mouth in his own. All of a sudden there were hands carding through his hair, caressing his face, rubbing soothing pathways down his back. Grant was kissing him back, and with a fervor. 

_Goodness, I’ve missed this, missed you, Grant. I wonder if we could…_

Unfortunately Lee wasn't allowed to finish that thought, as at that moment, a very animated and delighted librarian burst through the doors Grant could have sworn he’d locked. 

“I KNEW it!” She all but yells at them, pointing aggressively at the two men. “I knew it!”

Grant and Lee immediately jumped apart at the interruption, the latter now sporting an impressive blush while the man whose tongue had just been down his throat showed more confusion than anything else. 

“All the other academics said I was crazy, but I KNEW it!! I could tell all those subtle hints and recorded words of praise meant something more and I was RIGHT!!” 

At this point, Harriet started to slowly get over the fact that she was right, and the reality of the identities of the men started to dawn on her. “Holy shit. I’m actually in a room with Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E Lee. The real life, flesh and blood Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee… I need to sit down.” Harriet quickly found a chair and fell into it with a whoomph. 

After the loud and heart-attack inducing surprise, Grant managed to compose himself enough to ask, “Yes, we are Generals Grant and Lee, but I must admit we are at a loss. Who, may I ask, are YOU, Ma’am?” 

“Yes.” Lee had straightened himself up, attempting to consciously slow his pounding heart from his scare. “I do believe it is polite to introduce oneself before barging in on what is obviously a private affair. Especially when one wears such strange and scandalous clothing.” Lee certainly looked scandalized, suspiciously eyeing her knee length plaid skirt. 

“Oh, yeah. Yes. I apologize. For both my barging in and my… strange way of dressing.” Harriet stood from her chair and, utilizing unpracticed movements, attempted to curtsey for the men. _It’s a good thing I didn’t wear jeans today,_ she figured, _if I had these men would probably have me arrested for impersonating a man._ “My name is Harriet Taylor, I am a librarian, and I am here from the 21st century. That’s how I know who you are, and what you’re doing here on April 9, 1865! I know this may sound crazy, but it’s all true! I don’t know HOW I got here but one second I’m in my apartment in New York City, and now I’m here in Virginia! Oh my goodness and I was reading about you and the surrender signed here at Appomattox! Holy shit how is that possible that I could be reading about an instance one second and-” 

“MA’AM!” 

That stopped Harriet in her tracks. She hadn’t noticed that she’d been pacing up and down the room during her rambling monologue.

“Ma’am, please.” Lee had been the one to interrupt Harriet in her intellectual frenzy, his temper showing itself to the room, but it was now Grant speaking to her in a much more calm and collected demeanor. “Did you say that you are a librarian?” 

Harriet blinked twice. _Of all the information to take away from my rant…_

“Yes, I am a librarian. And a damn good one, at that.” She rose to her full, short, height. She was very proud of her work and had decided years ago that she wouldn’t take no shit from no one about her job.

“Well that settles it,” Grant stated resolutely, clapping his hands together, “you must be from the future if you’re a woman librarian. Especially a woman librarian who wears such unusual apparel.” 

“Oh goodness gracious, Grant. How on earth could you have such a strange line of reasoning?” Lee was staring, baffled at his companion’s odd thought process. 

“Well aside from being a woman librarian who wears odd fashion, she also claims that she knew we would be here, signing the South’s surrender. Civilians were not privy to such news, and she obviously doesn’t serve for either of our armies, for if she did, she would not dare barge in on her General while wearing such a salacious garment. Thus, her claims, no matter how fantastical sounding, must be true.”

Harriet was staring, wide-eyed. _That incredible tactician’s mind is really there, rattling around in that skull of his. Holy shit that’s hot._

Lee huffed, and went back to suspiciously eyeing Harriet. He didn’t doubt Grant’s intelligence, but he had yet to be convinced. “If you really are from the future, and have truly studied the exploits of my associate and myself, then tell me something only someone could have learned about us posthumously.”

“Ok…” Harriet thought for a moment. “You wanna know when you die?”

Both the men’s faces immediately drained of blood.

“Maybe not something so… dire?” Lee suggested warily.

“Ok, General Lee, though I really don’t know why you’re asking me to do this. Shouldn’t the fact that I knew about your and Grant’s relationship be enough to prove I’m not from around here?”

Lee couldn’t find a rebuttal within himself to retort with. 

“Also, speaking on that topic,” Harriet started, looking down at her shuffling feet, nervous for the first time during this strange episode, “since I’m here I guess I should tell you that I think you’re both incredibly handsome, and if I may be so bold, hot.” She didn’t know what on earth possessed her to say that out loud. Maybe time travel makes you horny? 

Expecting to look up and see two faces re-scandalized at her admission, Harriet instead was met by only one. Surprise surprise, it was Lee who looked like she’d said he’d need to use suppositories for the rest of his life. Grant, on the other hand, had a thoughtful look on his face. Harriet could swear she heard the gears turning in there. She also could swear she saw a lightbulb go off behind Grant’s eyes a second later, but they hadn’t been invented yet and she didn’t want to scare these men any more than she already had. 

“Hey Lee, come over here for a minute, if you please.” Grant gestured Lee over to a corner in the room, and Lee headed over, his eyebrows bunched in confusion as the men conversed in hushed tones away from Harriet. 

“Say,” Grant was whispering into Lee’s ear, “I wonder if you remember what we discussed in that tent during the Mexican-American war? About maybe adding a woman into the mix…?” Grant raised his eyebrows suggestively, and a look of recognition crossed Lee’s face. 

“Oh,” he said. “Yes, I remember those conversations.”

Both men looked over their shoulders towards Harriet. She was short, but curvaceous with a lively energy that was incredibly attractive to the two men. That bizarre skirt didn’t hurt her appearance either. 

The two men looked back to the other, a silent agreement made between the two of them. Briefly kissing, they parted and headed back towards where Harriet had been looking at the various books on the shelves, occasionally picking one up to skim through. 

“So, Miss Taylor. Lee and I quickly conversed, and we have an… unorthodox proposition for you, but since you expressed physical interest in both of us, we believe you may be amenable to our offer.” With that said, Grant looked to his right, giving Lee a pointed look and a small nod. 

Without pause or flourish, Lee sank to his knees in front of both Grant and Harriet, head bent towards the floor in total submission. 

Harriet’s jaw hit the floor.

Grant looked back at Harriet with a casual smile, and started to speak in a simple conversational tone, as if they were discussing the weather, “So Lee has always liked to surrender, in one way or another,” he chuckled lightly to himself at his own bad joke. Lee rolled his eyes at his spot on the floor, “and what we discovered all those years ago, is that he greatly wishes to be able to surrender to both myself and a woman, simultaneously. Would you be interested in his submission, my dear?”

Harriet was gobsmacked. Never in her wildest of erotic dreams could she imagine that this would be unfolding in front of her. 

Grant moved to go lock the doors, double checking this time, as he continued his little speech. “Not only does he like to surrender, but he also very much likes to be humbled. Isn’t that right, _boy_?” Grant’s tone shifted drastically at the last word, instantly signifying a change in the power dynamic between the two men. 

He moved to stand in front of Lee’s prone form. 

“And you fucking thought that you could get away with winning this war, you filthy dog.” That deep blush returned to Lee’s cheeks, but now Harriet could also see that his breathing had picked up. 

_Oh wow,_ she thought, _he really likes this, debasing himself in front of a complete stranger._ As if to only confirm her thoughts further, her eyes moved downward past his reddened cheeks to take in the bulge that was steadily forming in Lee’s pants. _Damn._ Harriet had never thought she would be into domination, but she could feel her own body reacting to the sight before her, her vision sharpening on Lee as her own heartbeat picked up its pace. 

Grant cleared his throat, recapturing her focus back to him and away from the mouth-watering sight before her. “Well, my dear? Would you be interested?” Harriet snapped her mouth shut, picking up her jaw from the floor.

“Yea. I mean yes. I am very much interested.” 

“Good.” Grant then morphed the satisfied smirk on his face into something more stern, more authoritative. “Well you heard Miss Taylor, didn’t you, boy? What do you have to say to her?”

A timid but excited, “Thank You,” came out of Lee’s mouth as he shifted his legs on the floor. His bulge had started to look painful, straining against the fabric of his pants. 

Grant moved, bending down until he was almost eye level with Lee. He then grabbed the confederate by his lapel and gave his face a hard slap, the sound resonating in the room.

"She couldn’t hear you, boy. Speak up."

“...Thank you, Ma’am.”

And it was those three words that pushed Harriet over the edge. She was suddenly overwhelmed with a raw and desperate WANT, her shyness from before diminishing into nothingness. Harriet’s pussy started throbbing with a growing heat, and she could feel the fabric of her already soaked panties sticking to her inner-thighs. 

She was there 100% and in-it-to-win-it.

Determined to ride this new high for all it was worth, she turned her head towards Grant. 

“You say he likes to be humiliated? To be given orders and told what to do?”

A wicked grin crossed his face. “Lee here lives to serve.” The statement was practically purred, and accompanied by a nod of agreement from Lee. Harriet let her thoughts race, thinking about the best ways to optimize this never-gonna-be-repeated experience. Settling on a plan of attack, she sat back down in the chair she had whoomphed into earlier, crossing her legs and setting a stern look upon her face. 

“Boy?” Lee whipped his head towards her, eyes shining with possibilities. “Come over here.” 

Lee started to stand up when Harriet spoke again. “No. On your hands and knees.” 

And so he did just that, crawling over to kneel in front of Harriet, arching his back suggestively on the way over, wiggling it like a harlot in his tight blue dress uniform. 

A growl could be heard coming from Grant’s area of the room at the immodest display. 

Lee was now kneeling before Harriet, head down and anticipating his next order. Harriet stuck out her shoe, a modest, but modern, black high heel. “Lick it, dog.” 

Harriet had never seen a man move towards an object with his face as fast as Lee pulled her shoe towards his mouth. 

He may as well have been worshipping that shoe with his tongue, the way he was running the muscle up and down its patent leather body, the tip of the toe, the end of the heel. 

“You filthy bootlicker,” Harriet chuckled. She wasn’t even that interested in foot fetishes or foot worshipping. She told him to lick her shoe for the simple reason that she could. And it was that pure display of dominance over the man before her that caused her panties to grow even more wet, her pussy pulsating with how badly she was turned on. 

“You deserve nothing more than to lick the underside of my shoe, since you took the coward’s way out and surrendered. You’re not a real man, you’re pathetic.” Harriet’s words sounded harsh to her own ears, but Lee was loving it, licking her shoe beyond clean, utilizing that special fervor that only comes from mindless sexual enthusiasm. 

“Alright, boy. I believe you’ve licked Miss Taylor’s shoe clean enough. Now, disrobe and come over here.”

Harriet had been too distracted by Lee’s ministrations to notice what Grant had been doing on his side of the room. While Lee had been acting as if he could come purely by licking Harriet’s shoe, Grant had been making a makeshift bed out of the confederate flag that had previously hung near the room’s desk. He only had on his underclothes, and had procured a glass of water, a towel, and what looked to be a small vial of oil. 

“Miss Taylor, if you would also join us? I believe the activity I have in mind will be fortuitous for the both of us. If you could sit on the flag up there with your legs spread? Yes, perfect, thank you. Now, boy, have you disrobed? Yes, good. Get on your hands and knees, and face Miss Taylor’s spread legs while your backside is to me.” It was all said very matter of fact, and it took Harriet a second to understand what was happening. The second it did click though, she didn’t think it was possible for her to ever be more excited, or more wet, in her life than at this moment.

“Here,” Grant was handing Lee the glass of water, “drink some and wash out your disgusting mouth. We don’t want that obscene thing to ruin Miss Taylor’s perfect pussy, now do we?” Lee looked beyond dazed and happy when he was handed the glass, his eyes glazed over and a small smile perpetually sitting on his face. After he finished drinking the water, having drained half the glass in one gulp, Grant pulled his hand back to give a mighty slap to Lee’s ass. The sound was deafening, and right behind it was a thoughtless groan of pleasure that had escaped out of Lee’s mouth. 

Unconsciously, Harriet had started touching herself. She must have removed her panties at some point, though in her sexed-up haze, she couldn’t remember. With her legs spread, taking in the show being put on by two of the hottest men in 19th century American history, Harriet started moving her hand faster, brushing over her clit, spreading her own wetness around her pussy and all over her fingers. She let out a moan at her own ministrations.

“Now look at that, boy!” Grant said, pointing towards Harriet’s display. “Are you going to be so useless that Miss Taylor will be forced to get herself off? Go over there and pleasure her with your mouth and fingers. Got that?”

“Yes, Master.” 

Lee didn’t need to be told twice. With the same enthusiasm and reckless abandon he’d utilized when he licked her shoe, Lee’s mouth latched on to Harriet’s pussy, eliciting a wicked moan from the librarian at the sudden onslaught of pleasure she was feeling. Licking up and savoring every last drop of her juices, Lee was relentless with his tongue, flicking it rhythmically across her clit as if he’d been trained and drilled to do so. In fact, he’d just done something particularly devious with his tongue, and Harriet found herself forced to grip his thick, white hair with all her strength, as if she were holding on for dear life. 

“Fuckkkkk, you filthy boy.” Harriet panted out, “You’re good for nothing other than getting me off with your tongue, you know that? You’d be completely useless to this world if you didn’t have a tongue, wouldn't you? Hell, you couldn’t even win at Shiloh, you pathetic, little man.” 

Muffled, “Yes, Ma’am”s could be heard coming from under her skirt, and from the depths of her crotch. Suddenly, Lee let out a mighty moan and stopped his work on Harriet’s pussy. Before she could berate him for stopping, she saw what had made him halt in the first place; Grant, now naked, was using his fingers and the vial of oil to get Lee ready for his cock. And by Harriet’s standards, an impressive cock at that. 

No matter, but Lee needed to get back to work on her pussy. Roughly yanking his hair once more, she forced his tongue into her cunt, not willing to be ignored in favor of the action at the other end of his body. 

“Get back to it, boy. You need to make both me AND Grant come before you’re allowed the privilege of coming yourself.”

Lee moaned his agreement into her pussy. He was licking her clit as if it had all the answers to the universe when he started in with his fingers, but before he could properly insert them, Harriet stopped his hand. Thinking he’d done something wrong, Lee looked up to give her the most pathetic look she'd ever seen on a grown man’s face.

“No. You can only put your finger in me once Grant sticks his fat cock up your ass. No sooner.”

“Well in that case dear,” Harriet looked up towards Grant, now getting in position to stick his fat cock up that ass, his now signature smirk on his face, “you best brace yourself.”

And with that said, Grant slid his cock right into Lee’s tight hole. 

This time, Harriet was ready, so when Lee started to moan and move away, she forced his face further into her cunt. The vibrations from his desperate moans felt like magic against her clit. 

It was then that he stuck his fingers into her pussy, working them alongside his tongue and vibrating lips. 

Harriet can’t remember screaming so loud before in her life. 

With every thrust from Grant into Lee’s ass, Lee would then fuck his fingers into Harriet, moving forward purely from the impact of Grant’s hips slapping against his backside. 

Harriet was getting close. 

“Speed up, fuck me harder!” She could start to feel her orgasm building up, the vibratory sensations moving outwards from her inner-thighs, the tips of her fingers, her teeth. Everywhere was vibrating and she needed to come NOW.

“As you wish, Miss Taylor.” She was initially confused as to why Grant had spoken at her demand, but was swiftly reminded a few seconds later. At her request, Grant started absolutely pounding his dick into Lee’s ass. Lee’s moans vibrated Harriet’s pussy as his fingers fucked her, finally curling up to hit her G-spot dead on. 

No. NOW Harriet can’t remember a time she’d screamed louder in her life. 

Gripping Lee’s head tight enough to threaten to pull out hair, she held him still as she rode his face, working through waves upon waves of pleasure. 

She continued to grind lazily on his face as she started to calm down and catch her breath, but while she was done with Lee, Grant wasn’t.

“Look at that, you gave Miss Taylor an orgasm. Unfortunately for you, I’m not finished using your tight ass.”

Taking advantage of the fact that there was only one other person to bring to orgasm now, Grant hoisted Lee up and against his chest, wrapping his left arm around his neck to keep him still as he continued to mercilessly fuck his ass. Lee’s moans were no longer muffled by Harriet’s pussy, so to save his own ears, Grant shoves two of his fingers from his right hand into Lee’s mouth to suck on. 

“Look at that, sucking on my fingers like the desperate whore you are. I bet you wish they were my cock, don’t you?” 

Lee let out a muffled, “Yes, Master.”

“Well lucky for you I’m close to finishing, and I’m going to make sure to leave your hole a ruined mess, filling you to the brim with my hot come.” 

Lee moaned loudly into Grant’s fingers. 

“Now shut up. I’m going to fuck you until I 'm done, and if you come before me, you’ll get punished with the whip. You don’t want that do you?” Lee vigorously shook his head, no. “Good. Now hold still, you useless fucktoy.” 

And at that, Grant pumped vigorously into Lee’s ass, a deep flush spreading across his chest. 

After a few more hard and relentless pumps, he finally comes, coating Lee’s insides, and delivering a vicious bite to his shoulder. 

With his cock still deep in Lee’s ass, and his fingers still in Lee’s mouth, Grant moves his left hand down to Lee’s impossibly hard cock. He’d been on the edge for so long, all it takes is a few quick pumps before he is spurting all over the confederate flag beneath him.

In a final act of dominance, Ulysses S. Grant shoves Robert E. Lee forward onto his hands and knees, pushing down on his shoulders, and forcing him to rub his face through the mess of come he left all over his beloved flag.

Lee felt thoroughly used, loose, and worn out. He felt debased, debauched, and dirty.

And with his come covered face forced into the eternal symbol of his failures, Lee found that he had never felt happier.


End file.
